waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I think i can safely say that these last few days (and any remaining days) are going by about 6 million times slower than the whole past 9 months of my pregnancy. I am literally almost TEN months preggo now, and want this show to get on the road! >:{ I am attempting most of the suggested strategies to get this baby going... walking, rolling around on the yoga ball, and eating spicy foods (to the dismay of my stomach/esophagus later). I'm laying off the 'nipple stimulation' method because, if it even works, it can apparently lead to more painful/strong contractions than i would normally have- so that's out. I know sex is often a sure thing too. However, not only do I feel like a hippo, but since the doctor was so easily able to feel the baby's head last week, i'm feeling a little trepidation about anything going in THAT door...

NOT TO MENTION,

it's all compounded by the fact that i'm not even having really any labor 'symptoms' that would insinuate i'm going into labor soon. I mean yes, the baby's head has dropped & i'm dilating & 80% effaced, but all that means almost nothing if I don't have regular & increasingly strong contractions. I don't even FEEL uncomfortable/miserable... which I feel like I should be feeling at least a little shitty if i'm so close to delivering. I'm still running up stairs, bouncing around the house, running errands, etc. Other than some occasional cramping, you'd never think I was hours/days away from active labor if you didn't know about the dilation/effacement.

so basically,

i feel like i'm going to be pregnant forever.

at least a FEW contractions would help me see there was some light at the end of the tunnel. My doctors won't let me go any longer than October 15th. I know that's only next saturday, but Jesus, you can't tell a pregnant woman who's beyond full term that, "hey, that's just a week or so away!" ... that's an eternity. I appreciate my dad/step mom, grandparents, mother-in-law (which she all but is), and tanner's dad/step mom calling me every day to check on me... HOWEVER, it's really just a friendly reminder that YEP, i haven't had the baby yet- YES, it's time she was here & it should be any time now. It makes it worse that I have to verbally say each of those things several times a day to people that are like" well i'm getting awful anxious & am ready for her to be here..."

really.

you have no idea, dear ignorant (but loving) family member.

I AM BEYOND READY.

The one thing I have not done is drink castor oil, my reasoning being,

1. never mind that it tastes like shit, but it's definitely not a proven method, and

2. it's a laxative. as much as this waiting game sucks, i'd rather wait than take that & have the runs for God knows how long :x

and of course, as i'm watching a Baby Story on TLC, the mother in this episode is 70% effaced and 2 cm dilated (like myself), but is in active labor.

...

WHY can't my body to that?

so frustrating.

On a different note, she's screaming like a maniac and acting like a pregzilla.

If nothing else, out of pride i REFUSE to be one of those women that lies on the bed screaming & crying. It's called labor for a reason- it hurts. It's the hardest thing i'll probably ever have to do- but it's worth it. My plan is to go as natural as long as I can, (ideally until i'm 8cm), at which point i'll get the epidural JUST so that I can push. I don't want to be too exhausted from dealing naturally with the contractions that i'm too tired to push when it's time to do so. I've also stipulated that I'd like to help catch her as she comes out and want her to be immediately put on my chest so I can breastfeed. I know that babies do something called the 'chest crawl', which is absolutely amazing and I really hope to experience. Basically, the baby is put on my chest as soon as she's born, and she will literally inch or CRAWL her way towards my boobs because they give off some scent that's similar to what she's been smelling in my womb these past 9 months, so she instinctively knows to head in that direction. Also, (not to give too much info), but my areoles (?) have gotten darker with pregnancy, as they're supposed to. This darkness helps direct her in the way of my boobs because, being a baby- she can't see very well, but she CAN distinguish light & dark. So not only are they darker so that she can see them, but they smell like something that's familiar and that she's drawn to, so she'll literally crawl her way to them months before she should even know HOW to crawl. 

It's truly amazing.

Aside from having this little complain/rant fest, I'm actually a pretty happy camper :x

I'm healthy, she's healthy, & everything really is going great :)